It's like being a glass-half-full person: optimistic that things will turn out well but not surprised if they don't.
When we left the US for Costa Rica, I never thought I was running away from the world and its issues to seek refuge in a tropical paradise. The reason I didn't have that particular delusion (I do have others, just not that one) was because of a saying we've had as a family for as long as I can remember being a family.
Ask both of our girls just out of the blue: What's the key to happiness? And they'll both answer with more reflex than thought: low expectations!
That's not a negative thing, it's not the same as having a bad attitude or a doom-and-gloom outlook. It's about reality and real expectations.
Hype! It's the enemy of most movies, the bane of existence for most restaurants, and the reason we are unhappy with our iPhones after waiting months for the new releases.
Hype, verb; to promote or publicize a product or idea intensively, often exaggerating its importance or benefits.
Having low expectations isn't about expecting less, it's more about a strong dose of reality wrapped around hope.
Here were my expectations of Costa Rica:
It would be different from what I was used to in the US.
I would have trouble understanding things because I didn't yet speak Spanish.
I would learn Spanish.
It would be humid.
There would be bugs, some of them would be huge. (see picture)
The pace of life would be slower.
I would hang out at the beach.
I would meet new people and hear new stories.
I would miss my family.
I would learn to live at that slower pace.
I would see new things.
I would probably be scared driving up the roads around the volcanos and mountains.
I would look at but avoid the proximity of monkeys.
I would slowly shed my attachment to things.
I would eat more fruit.
So far Costa Rica has met those expectations. Exceeding some of them, especially in the bug category.
After the encounter with this giant locust I had a huge beetle land on my foot while I was at a friends house for dinner. I calmly hyperventilated, stifled a scream and said, Could someone please get this off my foot. It was the size of an extra-large egg and its sticky legs tickled through my sandals.
Me: Oh my...oh my...what is it? Is it a beetle?
Other guest: I think beetles that big are scarabs.
Me: Like the creepy bugs from horror movies about ancient Egyptian tombs and mummy curses?
Other guest: Pretty much.
Another guest: That's not bad, that's a small one, probably female. The male ones have big pincers.
Me: Nope!
I am not naming this one George.
I did't get a picture of the beetle on my foot. Too much panic adrenaline was racing through my system for me to take the time to dig my phone out and snap a shot. I found this picture of someone else not in a panic next to a bug like the one that visited me so you can get an idea of what I'm talking about.
Where was I? Oh yeah, happiness and low expectations. So I've moved to Costa Rica. I have my list of expectations, and it's pretty on point. The big question is, am I happy? I decided quite some time ago that happiness was a feeling, an emotion that came and went, sometimes on a whim, and that rather than striving to be happy, I would focus on feeling fulfilled or satisfied.
Fulfilled, adjective; satisfied or happy because of fully developing one's abilities or character.
The feeling of fulfillment is different for everybody and completely attainable. For me, it is about being present and believing I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am meant to be doing. That feels attainable.
I'm not talking about striving and working and building; those can be great things, but you can't build a satisfying life on just that. I'm talking about being satisfied by a sunset, being fulfilled by a wonderful conversation with a new friend because you laughed and she laughed, and for a moment you shared happiness. Sitting with someone you care about, side by side, reading a book, connected by quiet thoughts.
I've found one of the most fulfilling things in my life is when I'm busy, I have a list of stuff meant to be completed today and a good friend calls with a medium-sized problem and needs me to listen for a bit. This doesn't come naturally to me, putting down my own project and listening, I've worked at it over the years with this thought, "God has put this person in my path and it is nice to be needed and valued."
I get fulfillment from deep meaningful connections, from understanding that my steps are guided and when I chose to follow my guide I am exactly where I need to be.
If you listen, your soul can guide you to a place perfect for you. This place may manifest as a feeling or a physical location. While relocating to another country may not solve all your problems, it can offer a new perspective on them, which is equally fulfilling.
コメント